Once a Freak, Always a Freak
by supernaturaldh
Summary: Sam likes being normal, no headaches or visions. So, if he keeps his new headaches and fear of visions to himself, if he doesn’t talk about it, then he won’t be a freak…right? Set in Season 3.
1. Chapter 1

**Once a Freak, Always a Freak **

**Summary: **Sam likes being normal, no headaches or visions. So, if he keeps his new headaches and fear of visions to himself, if he doesn't tell Dean, then he won't be a freak…right? Set in Season 3.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them, but boy I wished I did.

**By Supernaturaldh**

**Chapter 1**

**Once a Freak**

Sam leaned is head heavily against the cold glass of the Impala window, his eyes closed. He was pretending to be asleep, his brother hadn't noticed. He wasn't sure how long he could keep the charade up. He didn't know why he did not want to tell his brother. But, just the thoughts of acknowledging a headache, made his chest grow tight with fear. _What was his deal? _ _It was just a headache, nothing major, nothing to worry about._ He tried to shut out the radio as it vibrated harshly in his head. Every thump of the drum beat causing the pain to spike in behind his eyes. He inhaled a steadying breath. His slitted eyes darted over to his brother. Dean was in 'the zone', ACDC song totally taking over his body. His fingers thumped maniacally against the steering wheel. The dark sunglasses that covered his eyes bounced against his nose as he sang loudly to the words of 'Highway to Hell'.

Sam bit his lower lip to keep himself from going over the edge, from darting his hand up and jerkily turning off the music. _Keep it under control. Get to the motel, take some aspirin. It's just a normal headache. _His brother's voice echoed loudly over the music and reverberated in his ears. He scrunched his eyes shut, forehead planted against the cool window, his forced steady breathe making foggy patches on the glass. His fingers fumbled for the edge of his shirt, then clutched it tightly in a knot in his lap.

He hadn't had a headache since Cold Oak and they killed the Yellow Eyed Demon. He hadn't had a vision since then either, and he liked both of these facts just fine. He was scared to admit he had a headache, he might have a vision, and he did not want to be a "freak" again. He knew his brother, he knew how he thought, and he knew any sign of headaches or visions, would send him straight back into big brother mode. Although he liked being taken care of, he was a grown man, and the last couple months had been nice. Without the headaches and visions; Sam no longer felt needy, no longer a burden. Best of all, Dean no longer felt he needed to take care of him, to protect him. Dean treated him like an equal, like his brother, not like he was a twelve year old. Sam finally felt he was no longer a liability in this partnership. _He would keep this headache to himself. He was sure it was nothing. _

"Hey dude, you hungry? I'm starv'n." Dean's fingers whipped up to the radio and switched it off. His eyes darted beneath the sunglasses over to the still frame of his little brother. _Hum, something don't see quite right here?_ Sam's head lolled from the window to his brother, a smile curved up on his pale face. _ Maybe he was coming down with something? _

"I'm okay, but if you're hungry, we can stop." Sam mumbled barely audible to Dean's ears.

"You feel okay bro?" Dean's eyebrows arched up above the black frames of his sunglasses as he leered over at his little brother.

Sam shuffled in the seat, pushing his body up into a straight position away from the window. _Get it together here dude._ "I'm fine Dean. Let's eat."

"Okay dude." Dean's head turned back to the windshield, but his eyes stayed fixed momentarily, under the dark frames, on Sam. _Something was off here._

Sam's fingers held tightly to the passenger door as he gazed up at the greasy spoon they had stopped at. _Dean sure knew how to pick um_. Something about the name "The Greasy Spoon Diner" made him feel nauseated, and he had not even gotten inside yet. He swayed slightly; his headache spiking a sharp pain right behind his eyes.

"You coming?" Dean yelled over his shoulder, and Sam pushed off the doorframe and steadied himself before he took steps to follow his brother.

He slid in across the booth from Dean, his fingers clutching for the sticky menu that rested against the salt shaker. The grease that permeated through the air around them was heavy, and it seemed to settle on their clothes, their hair; soaking into their pours. _The fact this place echoed its name, or that it was a dump did not seem to register with his older brother at all._

"So what are you having?" Dean asked as he gazed over his own menu to his brother, fingers flipping up to push the sunglasses up on his head. _Sam sure looked a little green here._

_Sam knew if he did not eat, it would get his brother's suspicious nature up, so he knew he had to order food, and he had to force it down._ He shrugged his shoulders up at his brother, darting the menu down quickly, and them putting it back across his face. _Just the though of eating any of this was making him feel sick._

"Well, I'm having the giant burger with everything, and extra onions." Dean offered with a cocky grin as he tossed the menu to the table.

The pretty little waitress appeared at their table just as Dean's menu hit the Formica. He shifted slightly in the seat as he gazed up at her. _She was cute, blonde and obviously single, no ring adorning that finger. _Dean smiled at her with his best, "Hi, I'm Dean. Want to have sex look."

Sam dropped his menu to the table, just in time to see Dean's face as he gleamed at the waitress. _Oh crap, here we go again._

The young waitress grinned widely back at Dean. "Well hello there, what can I get you?" her voice was sultry and it made Sam uncomfortable.

"I'll have the giant burger, no onions, fries, and a coke." Dean cooed in a low gravely tone.

Sam's eyes went wide. "What about your extra onions?"

Dean glared at his little brother and then looked innocently back up at the waitress. "No, no extra onions for me honey." He batted his baby blues at her and Sam thought he saw her actually swoon slightly. She stood several moments gazing intently at his brother.

"Excuse me." Sam intervened when it looked like he was not even at the table anymore. "I'll have a 7up, some fries." _He didn't think his stomach would hold any food at all, but maybe the 7up would help the nauseous feeling that was going along with the headache he wasn't having. _

"Oh," the young girl's eyes left Dean's face hesitantly. "Sure, sure thing." She nodded slightly at Dean, ignored Sam altogether and swayed slightly as she walked away from their table.

"Dean, what the hell are you doing?" Sam muttered as he brought the fingers on his left hand up to rest on one side of his forehead, unconsciously kneading the pressure point. "I thought we were going to get to Little Rock tonight?"

"I, little brother, am attempting to get laid, something you have obviously forgotten how to do." Dean's face lite up and a slight laugh flowed across his lips.

Sam rolled his eyes. _He was not up to this debate tonight. All he wanted was a bed and a pillow to lay his aching head against._ "Whatever."

The food was just as Sam expected a mass of grease and salt. He cringed at the sight of his french-fries, floating in puddles on the plate. Dean however, hunkered down on the fat, chewy burger like it was the best food he had ever eaten. He sat stoically watching the grease roll down his brother chin. The sight alone made the bile rise up in his throat. He quickly grasped the 7up and gulped down several mouthfuls, attempting to keep his stomach under control. He shoved the French fries around on his own plate, taking small nibbles in an attempt to look like he was eating something. He did not see his brother's eyes gazing from the burger to his plate and then quickly back to his own food. _He's looking awfully pale over there. Maybe he's just tired. _

Dean sat the burger down on his greasy plate, and tugged the napkin up across his lips. "Hey, let's find a room here. I might have a chance with what's her name." He tilted his head over toward the young waitress at the counter, eyebrows raising and lowering in an evil 'yes' motion.

Sam cringed. _At this moment, his head was hurting so bad, he did not care where they stayed, or what Dean did, he just wanted to lie down._ "Okay." Sam forced out as he fiddled with a French fry dangling in his fingers.

The Impala rolled to a stop in front of the dingy little motel not twenty minutes form the diner. Although Sam did not like the looks of the diner, he disliked the looks of this motel even more. _What a rat hole._ He's eyes scanned the parking lot blearily, and decided he would keep his mouth shut. _He really needed to lie down._

"Here we go Sammy. Just like our 'hot' waitress Christi said, The Duck Drop Inn." Dean smiled and wicked at Sam as he turned off the car. "I'll get us a room."

"Great." Sam whispered. As soon as Dean was out of sight, and in the manager's office, Sam whisked out a bottle of Advil from the glove box and dry swallowed three tablets. _Finally, Dean was not around._ He eased his aching head back against the Impala's bench seat, closed his eyes, and hoped the pain pills would work quickly. He must have dozed off a second, because the next thing he knew, Dean was leaned into the passenger door, patting his hand against his shoulder.

"Hey you…I carried all the gear in, I ain't carrying your ass." A grin leered up on Dean's lips and he shuffled up and toward their motel room, "Number 8 here bro, right in front of you."

Sam blinked to clear his sleepy brain and then lifted his weighty head from the seat. _That was a big mistake._ His headache soared to new heights and he struggled to catch his breathe in the wave of pain the rolled over him. He stared ahead through the windshield to the open door of their motel room. _At least Dean was inside and not watching his every move. _He pulled himself up and leaned into the passenger door, white knuckles grasping the cold metal. _Okay, steady, take a breath. Just get inside, to the bed. _He cautiously thought about each footstep he was making as he watched the wavering doorway come closer and closer. _It had been six months since he had a migraine; he had forgotten how they were. He probably was going to have to tell his brother. He couldn't function very well when he had this kind of headache. God, please don't let me have a vision. _His hand grasped the doorway, just as his brother thudded bodily against him, then weaved around him and back toward the car.

"I'm going out Sam. Just talked to Christy, she's off work. Don't wait up dude." Dean's voice permeated through Sam's aching head and he lifted his face slowly, the pain causing Dean to blur in the distance.

"Huh…Okay, okay." Sam mumbled.

Dean eased back in the car. He gazed from the steering wheel across the dark to his brother, who seemed to be hovering at their doorway. He squint his eyes to see in the darkness, but Sam moved inside the door and it thudded closed behind him. He smiled to himself and pulled out of the parking lot. _ I am so getting lucky tonight_.

_**This just came to me, and I had to get it started. I don't think it will be as long as some of my stories. It maybe a couple of chapters. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**_

_**-supernaturaldh-**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Once a Freak, Always a Freak **

**By Supernaturaldh**

**Chapter 2**

**Not a Headache**

**Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing this story. I love it when I get a good response. I am juggling two stories at once, so patience is a good virtue to have right now. Keep reviewing. You keep me focused! -supernaturaldh-**

Sam's vision was cloudy at best; he struggled to maintain his vice grip on the doorway, to stay upright. He could barely see through the darkness. _Dean was leaving?_ He could hear his brother's voice through the haze. "I'm going out Sam. Just talked to Christi, she's off work. Don't wait up dude." Sam managed to mumble, "Huh…Okay, okay." He wasn't sure if Dean heard him, as his voice sounded hallow and far away in his own ears. The headache was now absorbing his head tightly, a knife cutting through his skull in a low excruciating pain that caused him to gasp for air. He vaguely heard the Impala start up, the humming vibrating through his head as he thumped the motel room door closed with a swing of his unsteady hand. _Guess I won't bother him with my 'not' headache after all. Take care of myself. I'm fine. Fine._

He barely made it inside the door when the nausea hit him hard. He dropped his bags, and flung his shaky hand up to his mouth, gagging and swallowing to force back the bile that was now racing up his throat. _Man he hadn't had this kind of headache in a long time._ His free hand struggled to find the light switch on the wall, as his sneakers stumbled over Dean's duffle, placed haphazardly on the dirty carpet. He flipped the light switch by the door, then quickly flipped it back off. _Oh God. Darkness, darkness was better. _He attempted to focus on the bathroom. _Just get to the bathroom; please don't throw up on the floor….please. _Suddenly his eyes saw dots, his legs went weak and his body began to tumble toward the carpet. He reached one hand down to steady his descent, the other still grasping his pursed lips tightly. As his hand hit the floor, the hot bile rolled up into his mouth and spewed out angrily. He could not stop it, as it flew through his weak fingers and made its presence known. The wave overcame him, running down his chin and puddled on the carpet. _Oh man, Dean….No Dean wasn't here. He didn't need Dean, he was a grown man._ He strained to push himself away from the vile stench that now engrossed the ugly motel carpet. _He felt really sick; really bad. _He wanted to get up, to clean himself up, to make it to the bed, but his head was too heavy, just the thought of moving, too much. He let out a slight moan as another wave of pain washed over him and he rolled to his back. He blinked slowly into the darkness around him, his vision taking on a hazy white hue around the edges. He hated that he was now lying next to his own pool of sickness, and his arm came up slowly to tug his sleeve across his slimy lips. Not only was he lying next to it, he was wearing a lot of it. The smell made him gag, his empty stomach muscles straining with the action. His weak arms attempted again to push himself up, away from the dampened carpet. The pain was too great and he slumped back to the floor, concentrating on his breathing. _Breath through the pain, breath threw it_. Dean's voice echoed in his ears. But he took little comfort in it. He felt no warm touch, no firm grip, nothing grounding him to the waking world. Only pain, pain that was too great, engulfing him, holding him hostage. He tugged in some more oxygen, and lay perfectly still, blinking in the darkness, alone. The world around him wavered in an out, as waves of pain encompassed him, washed over him, and tugged him down in a blur of white hot oblivion.

-----------------

Dean's fingers tapped on the steering wheel of the Impala, excitement about the night a head racing through his body. _Cute little Christi, what a fun time he was gong to be having tonight._ He grinned to himself, and then frowned slightly when he thought about his little brother back at the motel. _ He looked like he was coming down with something…he was tired, that was all. Sam was just tired. _

He darted his hand up to his shirt pocket and whipped out his cell phone. _ He'd just call Sammy; not checking up on him, but reminding him to salt the doors and windows. _He perched his finger on Sam's number and gingerly pressed the button, yanking the phone up to his ear. The phone rang three times and went to voice mail. _ Hummm, Sammy asleep already? It was only 7:30 p.m. That's even early for geeks to go to bed. Oh well, let him sleep. _He flipped the phone closed, and fixed his eyes on the sign in front of him "The Greasy Spoon Diner" and the cute little thing standing by the front door. He grinned widely and eased the drivers door open, "Hey you." He said perkily.

"Hey yourself." She grinned and made her way to the passenger door that Dean now held open, smile plastered on his face.

------------

Sam heard the ringing, and it made his head spike a pain with each shrill tone. _Dean, please make that noise stop. Please._ His coherence came in bits and pieces, dim flashes of reality among the fog that had settled in his mind. He blinked his lead laden lids slowly, the stench of sickness causing his eyes to water. W_here was he, what was that smell? _His hands windmilled from the sides of his body and up to his head, palms pressing harshly against his eye sockets. _He could just push the headache out. That's it, bare down._ It didn't help as another wave of pain pieced behind his eyes and he moaned loudly. He listed to his side, face falling to a sticky substance now soaked into the carpet. The smell made him gag and what little food he had left in his body made a quick exit, rolling across his lips and down to the floor. _Some body help, he needed his brother…. _

He raged hard against the pain as he fumbled in his blue jean pocket for his cell phone. _Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean. _ His aching head made a little mantra that ran silently just beneath the pain, and he focused on the one word. His blurry vision could not make out the screen or the numbers, but it did not matter, he knew which button to press. His shaky fingers clutched the phone as he weakly punched in his brothers quick dial number. The phone rang distantly, vibrating through his head.

His vision glazed over as he struggled to keep his eyes open through another onslaught of searing, relentless, unwavering pain. Tears filled his eyes and he fought to stay conscious, to stay in control, to hear his big brother's voice.

------------

Dean leaned his hand across the front seat of the Impala and clutched Christi's hand tightly. A sensuous smile rose on her pouting lips, and she nodded at him, her short brown hair twisting around her chin.

Dean grinned broadly, and smiled. "So where we going sweetie?"

"Oh the same place I always take my men friends, The Duck Drop Inn." She winked at Dean as her fingers tugged her already short skirt up higher.

Dean shifted uncomfortably under her glint. _So she did this all the time? Hum, not as nice a girl as I thought. Where's the fun in that. _ Dean liked getting the girl, but not just any old girl. He liked getting the classy girl's, the ones that appreciated his virtues. The ones he dazzled with his brilliance and then left behind with broken hearts, pining after him. That was harsh, he knew it, but that was how he liked it. Easy girls were a dime a dozen. It was the 'others' he liked pursuing.

Christi eased slowly across the seat, eyes gazing intently at Dean. _Well, well, well, this was too easy. She was too easy. They hadn't even left the restaurant parking lot. But hey, he could take one for the team this one time. _His lips rose to meet hers, hands roving up around her back to tug her face in closer. Then he heard it, the ring of his cell phone echoing in the dark light of the Impala.

"Don't answer that." Christi whispered, shoving her lips harshly against Dean's.

His mind was racing. _Damn it Sam. _His lips slammed into Christi's, as his hand reached in his shirt pocket and ripped the phone from its resting spot. His head fell against her cheek as he whispered, "It's my brother…"

"Don't" she cooed as her fingers fanned down his neck and clutched his cell phone unsympathetically. Her other hand tugged his body toward her harshly.

The phone rang again, and Dean's body went lax as he ripped the phone from her grasping fingers. "What?" He breathed heavily into the cell phone. All he heard was dead air. His throat clutched into a knot, as he pushed Christi slightly away, yanking his head back to listen to the phone. "Sam? Sam?" He thought he heard a low moan, barely audible to his ears.

Christi's hand rose back up to seize the phone. "Come on, you can talk to your brother anytime." She mouthed cockily.

Dean jerked his phone and fingers from her reach. "Get off me." He yelled. He pushed open the driver's door and slid out into the silent night air. "Sammy?"

"…ean..." The voice was so low that Dean had to strain to hear the word, the low soft voice he had heard his entire life. The voice of his little brother when he needed him. His breathe clenched tightly in is own chest.

"Sam, what's wrong?" He leaned as far as possible into the phone, listening intently, waiting.

"I…head…urts." Sam's voice was choppy and pain riddled.

The adrenaline rushed through Dean's body. _Was Sam having a headache? A vision? He didn't have those anymore. No.no.no.no. Not a headache, not a vision._

"Sh…sh, it's okay. I'm coming….right now. I'm coming Sammy. Stay on the phone Sam, you hear me." Dean heard his brother hiccup and knew that tears were rolling down his face.

He yanked open the driver's door and slid haphazardly back onto the bench seat, neck craned around his cell phone, fingers retching over to the car keys.

Christi attempted to pull him back against her, fingers falling again to his cell phone.

"Get out." He muttered and gave her a slight shove toward the passenger door.

"Who…what?" she muttered with a surprised expression on her face.

"Sorry." Dean mumbled all thoughts of Christi and his libido exiting his mind. He leaned across her lap and pushed opened the passenger door. "Get out NOW'". _He hated to be so harsh, but his brother was his priority, not this chick. _The young waitress stumbled from the front seat, her feet barely finding the gravel before tires squealed and rocks went airborne. The black Impala spinning in a tight u-turn and whipping quickly back out on the highway. The young girl's mouth fell open in awe, an angry glint falling across her eyes. _What a jerk. _

Dean didn't look back, didn't really care what the girl thought. _His brother needed him. End of story_. The sound coming through the cell phone was silent, no noise, only a light breathe that Dean could barely hear. His right hand clutched the cell phone tighter to his ear. His voice whispering familiar words into the night, words he said before, words of comfort, of protection, of concern; words he was not sure his little brother could even hear right now. His other hand gripped white knuckled, to the steering wheel, foot gunning the engine, as the car sped up and wove its way back to Sam.


	3. Chapter 3

**Once a Freak, Always a Freak **

**By Supernatural**

**Chapter 3**

**A Harsh Reality**

The sleek black Impala slammed into the parking lot in front of the motel, Dean Winchester departed from the vehicle in a blind rush. The driver's door swayed back and forth in the wake he left behind. He heard his boots scuff against the concrete as he made swift, steady steps to the doorway, fingers fiddling with the keys as he unconsciously held his breathe. His eyes darted through the darkness as the door swung open; the streetlight glowing across the floor. His heart plummeted at the smell of sickness that assaulted his senses. _No lights? _ He reached his hand around and numbly found the light switch against the wall. He hesitantly flipped it on. All comprehension rushed up to smack him between the eyes when he saw Sam. His pale faced little brother was lying in a pool of sickness on the carpet. His stomach burned, and he thought he might be ill himself. _ Keep it together Winchester. _ He flipped the light back off, and stumbled over his own precariously placed duffle before he eased himself down by Sam's side. His eyes took in the pale face of his little brother.

Sam's hands were pressing harshly into his eye sockets, his arms shaking with the pressure. A soft moan escaped from his lips. The sudden bright light was too much and the pain spiked through his head. _Oh God, too bright, hurts. _Suddenly, the light was gone, and he heard shuffling around him, then someone was next to him. He felt a presence, aftershave and leather. _ Dean? _ He dare not open his eyes, or move, for fear his head might explode.

"Sammy?" a soft voice, whispered.

He felt warm hands come to the sides of his face, grounding him. He leaned into the familiar touch. A trembling wheeze of air eased from his mouth, as he felt his body relax slightly. "_De…?"_

"Hey, kiddo. What you doing on the floor?" Dean whispered. His hands eased Sam up slowly to a sitting position. Sam's body lolled against him. His fingers weakly reached up and twisted Dean's shirt. "You got a migraine?" Dean's tone questioning, yet etched with heavy concern.

Sam blinked his eyes slowly as he gazed up at his blurry brother. His body gave a light shudder and he felt totally overwhelmed. _Dean said… migraine? No, no, no. That can't be right. He didn't have those anymore. Not since Cold Oak, not since the demon…No. This wasn't right. No.No.No... _

Sam's head spiked with the realization thrust upon him. Sudden knowledge of what Dean said overcoming him. He jerked harshly against his brother's strong grasp. His face a mass of raw emotions; wide eyed, confused.

Dean's arms never wavered, or let go, but, hauled his little brother tighter to his chest. He watched as a lone tear rolled down Sammy's cheek and he silently brushed it away. Dean's stomach knotted up with the actuality of it all. Watching as the implications of his words dawned on his kid brother. _His brother's headaches weren't gone? Visions? Sam had thought he was done with this. It had been six months, for Christ's sake. Six months of migraine free, vision free, bliss. _

"Okay kiddo," Dean murmured softly. His firm hand anchoring Sam up, holding him steady, grounding him to the here and now.

Sam felt two steady arms holding him tighter, dragging him up on wobbly legs. A soft reassuring tone caressed his ears, murmured words of comfort as they moved painstakingly to the bed. He blinked his heavy lids, gazing at Dean. T_he bright white light whirling __around Dean's face was making him dizzy. _

Dean stood stock still, silent, watching Sam for a moment as he eased him to the bed. Sam's long body curled in on itself making him look far smaller than his 25 years. _This was bad_.

-------------------------

Sam felt fingers gently prying his lips open as dry round objects were placed on his tongue.

"Sam, swallow the pills. Come on." A warm breathe blew in his ear. He felt fingers, a hand, beneath his neck, a cup of something brought to his lips.

"Drink Sam."

And he obeyed, not questioning the order. _Winchester's always obeyed an order. _

He felt cold. _Someone removed his shirt._ A cool object was wiped across his face, and then laid against his forehead. _That felt good. _His body shivered and he felt something warm being pulled up over his shoulders as he let his mind drift off.

------------------------

Dean sat rigidly in the chair next to Sam's bed. His brother had been sleeping for a six hours. He was glad they had kept the Cataflam for Sam's migraines. He was glad he had made Sam refill it. He was glad he remembered it, found it, and gave his brother a large dose. Although Sam was out of it for the last couple of hours, at least he wasn't hurting anymore.

He pulled his hand through his short hair as he stared blankly at the T.V. No sound, just a picture to keep him company. He shifted uncomfortably in the ugly chair and eyed his brother again. _What the hell? If Sam was having headaches, could visions be far behind? And these headaches….migraines. They were so debilitating. What would happen to Sam when he was gone? _

A low murmur drew Dean from his thoughts, and his eyes darted quickly to his brother. He stood and eased himself down on the bed next to Sam. His fingers unconsciously rubbed up his brother's arm and tugged up the blanket. He watched as Sam's eyelashes fluttered slowly opened, confused orbs gazing up at Dean.

"Easy, brother." Dean let his hand fall lax to Sam's arm, his face a concerned weave of lines. He lightly squeezed Sam's wrist. He watched closely as Sam licked his parched lips.

"Dean?" Sam's voice sounded strange to his own ears. His head felt muggy, full of cotton. He looked slowly around the room and to the T.V. silently playing in the background. "What …ap'ed?"

Dean shuffled uncomfortably under his brother's blank stare. He gulped in some air. _Just get it over with_. "You had a migraine….remember?"

"A mi…gr..?" Sam's head nodded slowly, as memories of the last couple of hours flooded back to him. A pain spiked behind his eyes, and he tugged his hand from Dean's grasp and rubbed his temple. His eyebrows arched up in confusion as his hand fell limply back to rest on Dean's arm. He blinked slowly, "…tired..." he whispered.

Dean cringed at the look that flitted across his brothers eyes. The haunting gaze that seemed to settled there.

"I'm so…so tired." Sam's eyes slowly closed, his breath hitching a moment as silent tears rolled from his lids. He didn't move, didn't wipe them away, or even acknowledge them as he held his fears at bay.

Dean's chest tightened as he rubbed his little brother's arm again, watching the tears roll down his face. _He didn't know if Sam was tired because of the migraine, or tired because of this life. _The thought of both made him shudder. He continued to sit by Sam's side long after his little brother had went back to sleep, clinging to his arm, offering him comfort.

_Shorter chapter, but thought it said just enough. Awe Sammy.-supernaturaldh-_


	4. Chapter 4

**Once a Freak, Always a Freak **

**By Supernatural**

**Chapter 4**

**Always a Freak**

Dean tucked the blankets up closer to Sam's chin, fingers lightly tugging through his long hair and pushing it off his face. He patted the covers unconscientiously and moved away in the darkness to lie down on his own bed. He had sat for almost two hours soothing his kid brother as he rested uneasily. The migraine Sam was experiencing was one of the worst he had seen, and he had been around for a lot of them. The fact Sam was even having a migraine just pissed him off. _When was Sam going to get a break? _It was bad enough before Cold Oak, the physic kids, the damn demon, but now, Dean was at a loss as to why his brother would be having migraines again. _What did it mean? Were visions soon to follow?_

--------------------------

The sun cast a dark yellow hue across the motel room as it peeked over the top of the dirty curtains. Sam shifted slightly and flung his long arm up over his face, to cover it from the brightness. He vaguely remembered the last 24 hours, a multitude of murky memories coming to mind. _The car, a dingy restaurant, a headache_…_the worst he had ever experienced and then nothing._ He blinked his bleary eyes as he moved his arm down to squint at the sunlight, attempting to pull his ragged mind back toward some order. _His head throbbed lightly, although nothing like it did before. _He slowly turned, gazing toward the other bed. _Dean looked exhausted, like he had been up all night. _ His muddled mind attempted to sort through the sluggishness, vague moments dancing around in brief spurts of reality. _A voice that had murmured to him, a beacon through the blinding pain. A warm hand that had rested on his arm; grounding him to reality, and a slow, continuous motion, brushing through his bangs, soothing him to sleep. _He smiled faintly. _ Dean. _Suddenly, he trembled as recollection assaulted him and he pulled in a shuddering breathe of air. _He wanted to forget, forget the darkness, the demons, the deals, the headaches. Forget the overwhelming fear, the fear that his visions may come again. _

--------------------- 

"So, if we get there by 5:00, we can stow our gear. We can get something to eat, walk around. See the sights." Sam's voice echoed through the Impala. 

"Uh huh…" Dean nodded, fingers twisting on the steering wheel. 

"You know I might just eat some dessert tonight, I am really hunger. Hey Dean, we might want stop and wash the car on the way. I saw a sign back there about a car wash. You remember when Dad used to let us wash the car…." 

_Yada, yada, yada. _ Dean sighed; his brother had been yammering non stop for the last 300 miles, about absolutely nothing. His mindless chatter was grating on Dean's nerves, but more than that, he had not said a word about "it". _The 'it' being the massive migraine he had experienced the day before, the first one in six months._ He watched with concerned eyes as Sam did not seem to acknowledge it, but chattered on and on about everything else. _This was not a good thing. _He had attempted to breach the topic several times since they loaded back up in the Impala and hit the road, but Sam just changed the subject. He had finally had enough of his brother's mindless chatter and whipped the car into the next rest area. _ As much as I don't like chick flick moments….We ARE talking about this_. He switched off the ignition as he turned to glare intently at his little brother. 

"Wh…" Sam stuttered, as his head turned to look at Dean. "Why we stopping, I though you wanted to get there by 5:00? You know if we get there before then…." 

"SHUT Up, Sam." Dean's voice edged on anger, but his face showed something totally akin to worry. 

Sam's eyes grew large as he clamped his mouth shut, staring at his brother. 

"You have been talking non-stop for the last 3 hours about everything, but what I want you to talk about."

"You…you want me to talk about something?" Sam's wide eyes gawked at Dean, a large knot clutching in his throat. _I don't want to talk about it. _

"Oh come on man, you know I want you to talk about something. I have brought it up four times in the last 2 hours, but you just ignore me, and keep on talking about bullshit." Dean's eyebrows arched up in a large V, his piecing grey eyes gaping at his younger brother. 

Sam seemed to slump in the passenger seat, eyes glazing over, turning back to the dashboard. "I…I…don't want to talk…." He whispered.

"Sam…" Dean watched as his brother seemed to curl in on himself, looking far younger than his 25 years. "Listen, I know …"

Sam's hand wretched down to grab the handle as he swung the heavy metal door open with a creak, "No…no…no…man, I am not talking about this." He whipped his legs out of the car and moved silently toward a wayward picnic table in the tree line, door thudding harshly behind him.

Dean shifted in the front seat and sucked in a heavy breath of air. He watched his brother's retreating back and pulled himself out of the Impala, following behind Sam. He eyed his back quietly as Sam plopped himself down on the picnic bench, lying his tousled locks down on his crossed arms against the table, face hidden from his older brother's view. He stepped up silently next to him and waited, hoped that Sam would relent, and talk to him about everything that was going on in the freaky head of his. He heard a light hiccup come from his little brother's lips and watched as a light shudder racked his long body. _Sam was crying. _ He shuffled quickly into full big brother mode, and sat down hastily on the bench, bringing his fingers up to nest in his brother's neck, thumb rubbing gently against the back of his hair.

"It's okay Sammy. It will be okay." He murmured.

Sam slowly raised his head, his red rimmed eyes peering at his brother, tears rolling unabated down his cheeks. "I don't….don't want…I can't…" he stuttered.

"Shhhh. Sam, I'll be here. If a vision happens…." He kept his hand resting on the nap of Sam's neck, eyes never wavering from Sam's gaze. 

"I thought…you know…thought I was done… I don't want to have them. I'm sc...scared Dean. I don't want to be psychic, a freak again." Sam's hand reached up and lightly brushed the tears from his cheeks as he looked intently at his older brother. 

"Well, if it's meant to be, we will just deal with it. Just like before, Sam…. We will deal with it." Dean smile eased up on his lips. _His brother wasn't scared of ghosts, monsters, or any other supernatural creature; but a vision that scared the crap out of them both_. "We have always been in this together Sam. We will always be in this together. Got it?" He gave Sam's neck a grasp, shaking his head lightly.

Sam nodded slowly. "Th...thanks Dean." He leaned into his brother's hand and Dean tugged his head down lightly, fingers placing a nuggie on the top of his Sam's shaggy hair. 

"De...AN…" Sam quipped, grin rising to his lips. His brother's fingers patting him lightly on the shoulder as they both stood and walked slowly back toward the waiting Impala. 

"Hey, Sammy." Dean voice quirked out as he walked beside his little brother, eyes crinkling up in laugh lines. 

"Yeah", Sam said, pace steady as he turned to look at his brother. 

"You know you have always been a freak…right? It's got nothing to do with visions." 

Sam's face eased into an extensive smile, a light laugh escaping from his lips. He rolled his eyes and poked his elbow in his brother's side. Dean ducked away quickly as he veered from his brother's nudge.

Dean chuckled and grinned back at his little brother. _Visions or no visions, Sammy was worth the chick flick moment. _

End!


End file.
